For many wives and girlfriends the reason why lies go on for so long is because the truth may be too painful to take. In most cases the fabrication of the truth is more pleasant than knowing the reality in the message. A woman may not be happy thinking that her husband or boyfriend is spending a lot more time at work, but it is so much easier to take than to know he is really spending his time with someone else. Because of this, most women don’t even look for the inconsistencies in their husbands stories in the first place.
Don’t Be an Ostrich
The ostrich effect is a real phenomenon in which a woman, rather than accept the reality of the situation, figuratively sticks her head in the sand by ignoring the truth. When faced with the truth, it might put the woman in an uncomfortable situation she doesn’t want to admit. For instance, if faced with the risk of confronting a cheating husband with his lies, she may accidentally start a chain of events that result in divorce. For women who are dependent on their man for support, this can be devastating. Nevertheless, not knowing the truth is not going to protect your marriage either; he may just leave anyway. At least finding out the truth can give you a heads-up to prepare for the worst, so be proactive in seeking it out.
Your Husband is Not Pinocchio
Imagine the following scenario: Your husband comes home from another late night at the “office.” You’ve had a long day yourself but, you still have the energy to greet him kindly. “So how was your day?” you ask him sweetly. Depending on your husband’s communication style the reply can vary but, if he is lying to you, there may not be any visibly obvious cues. That is to say if he is lying to you, his nose does not grow.
When women look for those telltale signs that their husband is lying to them, they may look for some of the obvious cues that are told to us through fork-lore. Wives tend to think that if he won’t look them in the eyes, if there are changes in the way he stands, or if he pauses a lot, as if he is thinking and says “um”, then that must mean he is lying. Many of those signes are actually pretty random in liars and research has shown over and over again that those are just not reliable signs that your husband is lying to you.
The Lies Are Found in the Little Things
While your man’s nose might not be taking on gigantic new proportions every time he opens his mouth, that doesn’t mean that he isn’t giving himself away. Scientists in the field of lie detection say that there are some sure-fire ways to tells if he is being deceptive.
- Liars tend to use fewer words in person or on the phone and provide fewer details about what they have been up to. Interestingly, new studies show that liars provide MORE details in emails when they are telling a lie. It’s important to remember the difference.
- Their responses to questions also seem less believable. That is to say that their stories don’t seem to have the same level of consistency that they used to.
- Most importantly, watch his hand movements and facial expressions. Research has shown that when men are lying they tend to be less physically energetic than when they are telling the truth.
When you are looking for indicators that he is lying to you remember that these are not big gestures. Don’t look for the “in your face” signals. This is more like a secret code for you to decipher and when you put all these small things together you have a solid way to evaluate if your husband or boyfriend is being honest with you.