Picture the perfect man. He is good looking, chivalrous and successful. He is a sharp dresser and an avid reader. He is intelligent as well as cultured and well-travelled. He loves to play golf with his friends on the weekends and travels to exotic locations once or twice every year. He is close to his father and respectful to his mother. Therefore, he seems to have no family baggage. He is probably thirty five years old or even older. Every woman he has come across seems to agree that he is an extremely eligible bachelor. However, he has never been married and seems to be in no hurry to do so. He is hardly ever single and always has a beautiful woman in his arms. Nonetheless, like a runway show, they come and go. The eligible yet stubbornly single bachelor frustrates and puzzles women alike. Yet they find him irresistible. Why does he seem impossible to pin down? Why won’t he commit to any woman? Here are seven reasons:
He may be sexually active and have incredible sexual prowess, but if a man can’t have children, he is likely to feel rather ashamed. In a number of cultures, the ability to impregnate a woman is the hallmark of manhood. Moreover, society generally expects that after marriage, comes children and parenting. Therefore, a man who is infertile will avoid marriage because of these expectations as well as to safeguard his ego. If you are dating an eligible bachelor who does not want to settle down and have children, this could be a reason. However, you cannot tell just by looking at him. In addition, men are very discrete and sensitive about what they consider to be their sexual inadequacies. Therefore, do not simply assume that he is infertile if he does not want to settle down. He will open up to you if he trusts you one hundred percent.
2. Baggage from the past
Baggage from past relationships can influence a man’s decision on issues pertaining to marriage. Men are extremely logical creatures. If a man has been in failed relationship after failed relationship, he is likely to draw the conclusion that he simply not good at relationships. Therefore, he will opt to focus on what he is good at like work and avoid things he feels he is not made for. Baggage from childhood will also influence our social conditioning. A man who witnessed a messy divorce between his parents when he was younger will probably grow up with a negative attitude towards marriage.
Contrary to popular belief, there are men out there who are hopeless romantics. This is particularly true if a man was raised by parents who were hopelessly in love and had a perfect marriage. Therefore, some men take a little longer to get married because they do not want to settle for anything less than the one. Some men have already lost the one along with any hope of ever settling down.
4. Sex and freedom
Let’s be honest; from a man’s perspective, sex has become entirely too easy to get these days what with friends with benefits and the like. During past generations where sex before marriage was a taboo, sex was a great motivator for a majority of men to get married. In today’s society, marriage means a different thing altogether for men: loss of freedom. Therefore, some men have decided to put off marriage as the payoff does not seem worth it.
Single men have so many fears about settling down. Top on the list include fear of marrying the wrong person, fear of responsibilities, fear of domestic strife as well as the fear of losing one’s identity. This crippling fear of marriage can be attributed to the negative depiction of marriage by the media along with witnessing negative marital experiences of friends and family. Whatever the cause, this fear is enough to deter even the most eligible bachelor from marriage.
A man who is accomplished in his career and has a sense of control in his life will not easily give up this control. Men, generally speaking, are creatures of habit who get stuck in their ways and get comfortable with familiar routines. A bachelor will decide not to get married if he thinks the comfortable life he has worked hard to build will be turned upside down as a result of getting married and having kids. Men who are particularly keen on ensuring their sense of power isn’t jeopardized are easy to spot as they tend to date women who are much younger than they are.
7. Marriage is not a priority
It’s not that he hates the idea of marriage, it’s not that he is infertile, it’s not that he has baggage from the past and neither is it because he is a control freak. Some men opt not to get married simply because they do not want to. That’s it. These men are passive about marriage. They could care less if they get married or not. Such men tend to be passionate about other things like career development and personal achievements. Therefore, they prioritize on what they feel is more important and remain indifferent towards marriage.
All in all, a man’s view of marriage is different from that of a woman. Most women view marriage from a positive light. They see it as a chance to share their life with someone special while fulfilling their biological destiny which entails getting children. Men, on the other hand, do not always view marriage positively. Some view it as a loss of freedom or a hefty financial loss in case of a divorce. If you encounter and even fall in love with the eligible yet stubbornly single bachelor, the wisest thing to do is to be understanding and patient. Nonetheless, if getting married is a priority for you, be open about. If he remains indifferent, maybe it’s time to consider walking away.